Your tendency toward creating piles everywhere may not bother you, but it could be bugging the people around you.
But, so what? Does that matter as long as YOU know where everything is?
The truth is that, regardless of how competent you are in spite of clutter, others may have a different perception. A client once observed that she had worked with a very proficient accountant for years, but when she had a need to go to his office for an appointment and saw the apparent chaos, her first reaction was to wonder if she really could trust him with her business. That may not be a fair assessment, given that he had done well for her previously, however it does make the point. People perceive a cluttered environment as less professional.
Even on a personal level clutter can affect your relationships with others. Your spouse or children may be embarrassed by the home and your apparent inability to handle day-to-day operations. They may feel that you don’t care about THEM because you aren’t taking consistent care of basic needs like laundry and meals. Friends may avoid coming over because they are embarrassed on your behalf. Even if your spouse seems tolerant of your disorder, there may be an underlying resentment that is causing an ever-widening rift in your relationship.
And what about you yourself? How much is clutter getting in the way of pursuing your dreams? Is disarray keeping you from creating a comfortable, loving home environment; enjoying a hobby; or even starting a business? Are you living the life you really want to when you are surrounded by piles of papers and boxes of stuff?
Do you think your clutter may be misrepresenting who you really are? Post your comments below!
I am a fairly neat person, but my wife is absolutely in love with clutter. Many times I have cleaned up the kitchen and living room, gotten them looking good, but in a day you would never know it. When she opens mail or boxes or empties out her pockets or purse, it all ends dumped up on the nearest horizontal service. And she accumulates ‘stuff’ – she can’t seem to go anywhere without acquiring papers, flyers, business cards; whatever there is to take along. I get depressed and angry just coming home, and I am extremely embarrassed anytime someone wants to come over for something. She says it bothers her, but also tells me she can’t help it and doesn’t seem to want to fix it. I’ve tried to walk her through clearing it out, and she becomes so focused on what she’s finding in her piles that she can’t get through more than a few items. I really don’t know what to do.
Although my ex-husband didn’t clean up as you do, James, I still struggled with clutter. I can’t speak for your wife, but for me, the clutter on the outside was an extension of what was happening inside me. In the end, decluttering is about making decisions. I was so afraid of making the wrong decision that I was essentially paralyzed. It took someone more objective to help me learn to make those decisions. Although professional organizers are not usually licensed therapists, we do often help people think through some of these issues. If the scope of the problem is beyond us, we will make appropriate recommendations. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I like being on the other side of my clutter problem and I hope that your wife will find the help she needs in order to make your home a comfortable and happy place for you…
It’s why I know several of my friends never let us visit…
Having been disorganized in the past, I regret that I let clutter keep us from relationships.
We all get overwhelmed from time to time! Thanks for your comments…
Hmm. That’s a sobering thought, Brenda. Even though our clutter may not bother us (though, personally, there comes a time when I just have to do a blitz), it’s never occurred to me that we may be sending out signals that we’re either overstretched or untrustworthy.
I’m so not a clutter person but every once in a while stuff seems to take over and I have to do a major overhaul. It’s interesting to get a perspective on what others see it as. Thanks!
Thanks, Holly! Just think of your reaction when you go to a restaurant and the tables aren’t clear, or a hotel and the beds aren’t made. We have certain expectations, don’t we!